1.  Remember you are important too

You cannot possibly take care of anyone else unless you care for yourself too. Your needs, desires and dreams are just as important as those of your husband and children. If you make sure that you are happy and balanced then everything else will fall into place.

 

2.  Look for the beauty inside yourself and everyone else

Always concentrate on the positive. Many women are deeply critical of themselves and everyone else. Look for the good things, and the beauty in yourself and others.  You will be amazed how much happier and more secure you will feel. 

 

3.  Time is the most important gift we can give to anyone

There is nothing more precious than the gift of time. Your kids, your husband, your friends - they don’t care about how perfect and tidy your house or your life is, they just want to spend time with you. Make memories, people!

4.  A tidy house is not as important as you think

Being tidy is wonderful, and clutter is the enemy of the universe. Having said that, most of us have lots of clutter and staying tidy is an ongoing battle. While I agree that life flows more smoothly when your home is tidy and organised, it doesn’t work if keeping it that way makes you a nervous, exhausted wreck. Do your best, and then just enjoy yourself.  Your children really will not remember whether the house looked perfect, they will remember if you had time for them. I am also pretty sure your last words will not be “I wish my house had been tidier.” 

  

5.  If you need help, get it – and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty

Hiring domestic help is not a sin, nor does it mean you are lazy.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, hiring a cleaner or someone to do your ironing is a great idea.  Do not let anyone tell you that it is wrong to do this!  Not only are you helping yourself, you are stimulating the economy by employing someone. You do not have to do everything all by yourself. If finances are tight, trade tasks with a friend. For example, if you are good at ironing and she is great at organising, let her organise your closets while you do her ironing. 

6.  Be flexible

You do not have to follow anyone’s rules about how a house should be run.  It isn’t necessary to do things like anyone else does – or did -  regardles of what they tell you. Twenty-first century life is new and different. We all have different schedules; we all have different needs. Every family is unique and we all have our own lifestyles. As long as you and yours are happy and well, do not let anyone make you feel inadequate.  Today’s life is full of challenges our parents and grandparents could not even imagine. With mobile phones, faxes and email making us all constantly contactable and the pace of life getting faster and faster, we have to grab all the family time we can – whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Make things work for you.  It is far more relaxing than fighting to stick to a rigid routine. 

 

7.  Take time out for you

It is important to take time out for yourself – whatever form that might take.  My therapy of choice at the moment is having a facial. It relaxes me and is great for my skin. You might enjoy running, going to the cinema or a gallery, or even reading the latest bestseller. Whatever form your time out therapy takes, be sure to take it! You will come back refreshed and better for it.

 

8.  Coveting is frustrating and makes you unhappy

Just about everyone you can imagine, from your neighbour to the people on television, tell you that you would be better if you had the next best, newest, greatest, latest gadget, car or home. I promise you – from experience – that what you have, where you live or what you drive does not change a thing about you, nor can things make you happy. Aspiring after greater things is empowering and desirable, coveting is devastating. Be grateful for what you do have, work with it, and the rest will follow.  Be happy for your friends when things go right for them and they move forward in their lives – even if that isn’t happening for you at the moment. Believe me, when the time is right, it will happen for you too. Never harbour bad feelings towards someone for doing well. This is an incredibly abundant universe and there is enough love, money and success out there for all of us. However you can’t tap into it if you are busy envying others their successes. Open yourself to the belief that anything is possible and abundance is all around you. It can change your life.

9.  If you are feeling really low, go do something nice for someone else

If you are having a truly awful day one sure way to turn it around is to do something nice for someone else. It can be as easy as smiling and talking to the homeless person you buy “The Big Issue” magazine from, or perhaps sorting out a few things to give to charity. You might choose to make the time to spend a few hours with someone you know is lonely or to call or write a letter or email to someone you have not written to in ages. Have you got an elderly neighbour who could use some help with shopping or tasks around the house?  Doing something to help someone else really helps us to focus on all the blessings we have in our lives. 

 

10. 10.Have fun
    

‘Happiness is a means of travel, not a destination’ and ‘Everyday life is a gift, that is why we call it the present’ are two quotes that have always stuck with me. The last words in my late Dad’s speech at my wedding were ‘Most of all, have some fun’. It was the very best advice he ever gave my husband and I. Spend time with the people you love, share joy and do the stuff that makes you really happy. Stop putting off smelling the roses, skipping through the daisies and making your dreams come true. It is hard to skip when you are ninety-seven and have a dodgy hip. Do it now!